In fact, I was feeling pretty good about the progress I was making till I got on the damn Wii Fit and it told me that I was morbidly obese and 100 years older than I am. But that's not what this blog is about.
I usually work out in the mornings and shower at the gym before going to work. If you saw the blog about the guy eating in teh locker room and putting his food in the same spot as the old man ball's rest, you know that too.
If you did read that blog, then you would know I have certain beliefs in regards to locker room behavior. So I guess that item 1 is don't eat meals in locker rooms. So, what we need to speak about now is item 2, personal space.
I'm a fairly physical person, and express affection in a physical manner. Hugs, embraces, pats, handshakes, are all relatively normal to me. I don't particularly like close talkers, or people that cling, but I can tolerate it well enough most of the time.
But in a locker room, I prefer a little more distance. So, if 2 feet is normal, when I am naked and toweling off I might prefer 3 feet, see what I mean? An extra zone of buffer space, because I'm naked and wet and don't like other men near me when I am naked and wet. So today I do my 30 minutes of cardio, and I'm sweaty and ready for a shower. So in the locker room I go, and I get in the shower, and I look forward to this because for some reason in my mother's house the hot water always runs out, so I can get a nice hot shower, and be all clean and nothing feels better than a shower when you are sweaty and grimy, and I'm stoked. I come out of the shower, and the locker room is crowded, a bit more than I am expecting but no big deal, so I start to towel off. Then it happens...
This guy, drinking from the water fountain, is drinking too long, I mean too long, with his head down, looking at me, not at me, but at a part of me, and it wasn't my eyes. Now, I have no problem with quick glances, but prolonged stares are just not a good thing in the locker room, so I start to feel a little uneasy. Then I turn around, to start to get dressed when I realize that there is no way for me to move anywhere without being uncomfortably close to too many naked guys. By the way, 1 is too many for me, again, we are talking within the 3 feet rule, and no, I'm not homo-phobic, I just don't like to be close to naked men. Anyway, the water drinker was staring at me, a guy had wormed in between the bench and the locker and had his abck to me, and third guy was trying to reach over me to get to his lock, he at least had shorts on.
So I'm freaking out, I admit it, I'm freaking out. The only way out is to dive over the bench, roll on the floor and run up the oppiste wall, flipping myself over to land on my feet, while looking casual. I saw this move once in the 5 deadly venoms, so I know that I'm qualified to do it, and I'm getting ready to spring...
When the situation disipates, two of the people move away, the water drinker finishes, straightens up, and winks at me as he leaves, and now it's just me and my towel, so i finish drying, get dressed, and that's it. The crisis was gone as soon, almost, as it materialized. But it made me think...
I do believe that a little extra personal space in the locker room is the way to go, but other than the water drinker, who I know was not that thirsty, nobody was up to any shananigans, though it would have been nice to pull off the karate move, but I'm not trying to kid anyone, I'm sure that I would have died. How many times and places would it be better to have a bit more patience?
