Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Thursday, April 10, 2008


So, where does one find it?

I work most of the time in a basement. I have a job which is not critical, but important in the small sphere of the museum. Sometimes I get satisfaction at work, but sometimes, being in that basement, it just feels like the weight of the basalt and granite are just trying to crush what little is left of me into an unassuming grayish pink paste. Sort of like vegemite gone moldy, pretty crappy.

Sometimes I get satisfaction from talking with people. Today I met someone, whose name I can’t remember, which is normal for me, I have always had trouble remembering names, never forget a face, but names, well, it’s just not my strength. I met someone who had lived a life that could fit into an exciting fiction. Someone who has seen parts of the world that I never have, and he had that dashing debonair look to, you know, the sophisticated, poised euro-metro-sexual-who wears Armani and will always be skinny and angular. Despite that, he was a nice guy, who made me think of the world outside my own experiences, I like when that happens.

Sometimes I get satisfaction from confronting rude people. This morning this inconsiderate person got on the rail road and sat, first on top of me because she was too busy speaking on her cell phone, then proceded to have a conversation with a prospective employer. She repeated each question asked before she answered it. When she got to the part where they asked, What obstacles have you overcome? I shouted, "She sure has no manners, you shouldn’t hire her!" That ended the conversation pretty quickly.

Often, I get satisfaction watching my daughter grow. Today she rode on her bike all the way around the block, she was able to really peddle, and she wanted to ride ahead of me because she is a big girl now. That makes me happy and sad at the same time. I have never loved anything in this world the way I love my child. It scares me to death.

Also I frequently get satisfaction when I play with my dogs, Cochise is an amazing athlete, and Lulu is a great companion. I cleaned out Lulu’s ears today, I know it hurt her a little, because she had a bit of an infection, but she licked me when it was done, and sat still while I cleaned her ears. She trusted that I wouldn’t hurt her. For a dog like her, who is tactilely sensitive, and a bit timid, that is a big deal. That trust is very satisfying.

Going to the Gym can give me satisfaction. Not every time, but often. I am older now, and in shit shape. But, after a long period of not doing anything, I have worked out 3 days in a row. I am sore, and it hurts to move. I like it, and it satisfies a part of my soul.

Having a beautiful woman makes me happy. I recently got around to downloading a digital keychain that my Mom had given me a Christmas. I looked at some pictures of Gabby again with new eyes, she is pretty damn hot. That made me feel good.

The world just seems to move faster and faster with people seeming to get less and less satisfaction within their lives. More and more demands are made on our time, and machines, noise and advertising seem to rule us all.

So where do we find satisfaction? These are the places I found it today.